The custody of children has to be arranged within a divorce case. Both parties should never assume that custody will always be given to the children. Judges instead consider both parties and aware custody to the one who is able to provide the best environment for the kids. Of course, if parents have already agreed, then the judge will take that into consideration as well. If parents are not in agreement, however, and one is tying to achieve sole or primary custody, the battle can become long and hard. One of the most important factors for the judge in these cases is trust.
A judge needs to feel that the parent can actually be trusted in terms of looking after the child. They want to make sure that the lifestyle of parents, both mentally and physically, is stable enough for a child. This weighs particularly heavily in households with more than one child. What is also important is the level of involvement of each parent in the life of the child(ren), particularly in things such as school work, religion, various activities and school. If the child is old enough, the judge will also take into consideration their own feelings on where they would most prefer to live. As you can see, trust in your ability as a parent really is the most important thing to work towards. A few factors will also really reduce how likely it is for you to get custody. For instance, if you were the perpetrator of domestic violence, if you are involved in taking drugs or alcohol, or if you tried to stop communication between you children and the other parent, it is unlikely that you will gain sole – if any – custody.
Two things in particularly are important in terms of winning a custody battle. Firstly, you need to be able to get the judge’s attention. You must understand that judges hear arguing couples all day, every day, so they need to hear something different from you in order to grab their attention. Whatever that is, it must be tangible and not based simply on your feelings of dislike towards your former spouse. The other thing to remember is that you can prove that you are a great parent through witnesses. Without witnesses, both parties will simply say that they are a great parent and that the other one is not. Try, if you can, to make sure that these witnesses are independent, such as pastors, teachers or even shop owners, rather than bringing in your best friend or family member.